Santa Cruz

   Two months ago I left my life behind and traveled across the Atlantic Ocean to spend a year abroad, by myself. Seeing my parents for the last time was full of anguish and tears. When I said goodbye to my family at the airport, I realized for the first time what I was going to do; be by myself in a foreign country for a year. I landed in New York with a busy schedule and people surrounding me not allowing me time to think. When I was on the plane to California, I was more nervous than I’ve ever been in my life.  I had no idea what waited for me; I had only known about the existence of Santa Cruz for a week. I didn’t know where I would stay or how the people at school would be; the only thing I knew was that no one speaks Swedish. I had no one to rely on but myself. A part of me just wanted to run home to my family and friends again, but another part of me was so excited; I would be living on my own for the first time.  I stepped off the plane filled with expectations and ready for a new adventure, but with butterflies in my stomach.

   I had everything I could wish for in Sweden: parents who I can talk about anything with, a brother who is also my best friend, a school with an education system that seemed to be especially tailored for me and friends who understand me inside and out. In Sweden I was the girl who spoke in front of the City Council about youth’s view of the future, who is never afraid to say what she thinks. I’m used to feel confident and comfortable with my surroundings because I know what I’m capable of.  Asking myself many times why I left everything, I have come to the conclusion that I left everyone and everything because I believe it is important to see whom you really are when you are thrown out into the unknown. 
 
   I’ve experienced a new culture, met an incredible number of wonderful people, learned a lot about myself and gained new perspectives on many issues. I was transformed from someone who sometimes has to remember to stop to think before she opens her mouth so that others will get the chance to speak, to someone who is quiet and would prefer not to have to talk at all, but despite my newfound shyness, I have developed so much that I barely remember who I was before.
   

   The biggest challenge of my life so far is ahead of me - finding confidence and expressing myself in a foreign language. I am proud that I dared to take the step to leave my safety net in Sweden, and I’m sure I will be a completely different person the sad day when I have to leave Santa Cruz and return again. 


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